An Uncanny blog from a Baleful child

Shit Happens. Life sucks, and then, you die.






God sure has a very twisted sense of humor.

This is the tale of a Girl who has lots o'time to spare

Come take a glimpse of the world I live in... Where neighbors seldom love you, where people have more hair on their armpits than their heads, Where grammatical errors are are a way of life, and everyone is 26.
And that's just their IQ, nevermind their age!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Ek "AAM" Ladki ke "AAM" Kisso ki "AAM" Kahaani

"Hockey is India's National Sport.
Cricket is India's religion.
I am an atheist with a strict "no-stick-on-field" policy."
-Anonymous

March is a month that begins with the dreaded board exams, stress, anxiety, electric bills, chewed-up fingernails, "Emotional Atyachaar" mania, and the end of a non-existent winter.
March is a month that ends in relief, payrolls, stressing on marks, farewell parties, convocations, tears, silent promises to stay in touch and, of course, Summer.
Think "Summer".
Think "Yellow". "Think "sunshine".
Think "The Delhi Fashion Week", "Swimsuit season", "New openings at pretti slim", "Price hikes on Sunscreen", "Fat women top-naked on public beaches", "Fat women in tight see-though white kurtis", and "Mindless Ogling".
Think "Dollops of sunscreen", "Summer clearance sales", "Cute guys top-naked on public beaches", "Sweating on the wrong places", "Long drives", "Avoiding public transport", "Avoiding your neighbor", "Avoiding the sun", "Avoiding men who smell like dead rats or kitty-litters", "Excessive deo", "Long working hours", "Sweat-soaked clothes". Think "another excuse to shorten the length of that dress"
Think "Mating season", "holiday migrations", "another dollop of sunscreen", "minimal make-up","sunburns", "aloevera".
And, then think the BAAP of a fruits---
THINK MANGOES!
A summer delight in India during the scorching summer months, they are the only reason people in India still believe that God exists. The coming in of Summer brings with it new items to menus of large urban indian food outlets. "Mango-chaas", "Mango icecream" "Aam ras" "mango milkshakes, mangoes, mangoes, and plenty more mangoes that are sold in every alley, every shop, every busy street of the City that never sleeps. Why, summer is the only season of the year when Mumbaikars look at a glass of "Maazaa" and say, "Know what? I think I'll pass..."

Here I sit, my precious, ripe, juicy, yellow mango in the very palm of my hands. My first bite, first lick, first slurp, and every other first that i left out is finally happening today. Gluttony takes over and I begin to devour my prized mango with animalistic vigor. Call me what you like, but I'm a sucker for mangoes.

I remember the tree outside my aunts appartment which always had ripe alphonsos five days after the Ides of March. Nice, ripe, juicy yellow mangoes always hung on the dainty branches elusively. My brother used to go up the tree and pluck them, and I used to hold the ladder up. He fell on me one day. We never plucked mangoes together after that.
I always hated that bastard...
Oh, well.

This month, I've decided to go to city Z in the Middle East from here for a holiday with my mum and sister. After a lot of negotiation, mum has agreed to travel to Z, which is two hours and 2,560km (approx.) away from Mumbai.
My birth city is the most beautiful, clean, lush, peaceful and excruciatingly BORING city in the entire world.

Yes, no cursing on the highway, no public tantrums, no mooning, no picketing, no harrassment, no NOTHING.

My only sources of enterntainment are 1) the frequent number of accidents on the streets right next to the 2)cemetry just a few yards outside of my house.
Well, shit.
But fretting I shalln't do, for throwing expats off an abra is what i shall do if the city gets too boring.
As someone had said, "When the going gets tough, the tough haul people into the sea for the heck of it".

Mangoes, anyone?

8 Had Something to Say:

thoughtfulrandomness said...

sangeetaaa...

i'm so jealous.. i've not even laid my eyes on the "aam".. i mean the ripe ones.. totally mouth-watering..
you've captured the essence, the heat of summer, and the only solace being mangoes..
a totally extra-"aam" post about your "aam kahaani"..
you're on my blogroll, because of this and also its too hot to go hunting for you everywhere.. i dont want to become the sweaty stinky person we all hate ;)..

- The Virgin Author! said...

Holy hell? How on Earth I don't like mangoes? Don't blame it on me, anyway! I just dislike them. ( Hate is a strong word, I was told :P )

Though, I must say your sources of entertainment are quite good. Seriously! ;-)

Sangeeta K. said...

@Pooja, thatnks for the add on the blogroll. You get them, but at exorbitant prices. I have to stand there for hours just to get the prices down. Bargaining is hard word.
@Arjit, you dislike Mangoes and I dislike love. Thats human nature, you know. Two people cannot love the same things all the time. I know, right? Those expats wouldn't know what hit 'em. But the local arabs are better at the haul game than I could ever be. I've been a victim before. :D

Bikram said...

I too am very jeaous .. AAAM for sake of GOD.. why did you have to mention it .. Now look what you done.. I have to go the shops to buy but its not the same here.. In India , in my village a tub of water filled with frest mangoes.. you pick and suck on them ..

here first i got to pay £1.50 for ONE mangoe.. for those who dont know thats almost 100Rs for ONE mangoe..
Sangeeta you owe me at least 500 bucks cause i am gonna buy at least 5 :)

I loved this article .. and Yes to your question Bring them on ... :)

Magali said...

OMG, You're mean, you made me feel all gluttony after reading this post.

Dr Roshan R said...

Been going thru most of the posts.. really well written :)

BlogAdda said...

Here I sit, my precious, ripe, juicy, yellow mango in the very palm of my hands. My first bite, first lick, first slurp, and every other first that i left out is finally happening today. Gluttony takes over and I begin to devour my prized mango with animalistic vigor. Call me what you like, but I'm a sucker for mangoes.

You have just given a brilliant idea to the makers of Slice. Just imagine Katrina in your place or should we say you in Katrina's place for the next Ad :) . Maala pan Haapus Paije :D

- Harish Krishnan

Sangeeta K. said...

@ Bikram, Man,i'm sorry! I'm broke!! Thanks for reading it!
@ Magali, Iknow... Imma mean psychopath! HEHEHE!
@ Dr Roshan,well,thank you for the compliment. It's appreciated.
@ Harish, Well, I'm not a fan of slice, but when one has property, one has to go out and sell! Let's see whatthe MNC says when they see it. XD